note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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