My entire life is one complicated drinking game
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
