I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
