I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
