I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
