do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
