absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
