did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
