is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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