nutella sex= disaster
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
