How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
