Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize