just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
two words...techno handjob
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
