$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
