Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
