My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize