she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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