i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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