I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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