woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh god it's open bar.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
