he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize