did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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