your room smells of hookers.
And success
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
