I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
