I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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