I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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