i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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