Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
