If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
