i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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