We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
