OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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