she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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