Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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