If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's great music for shaving your balls
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
