But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
