Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
