I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
