what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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