Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
