How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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