I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize