we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
