i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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