It's like God shit irony all over that family
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
