I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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