You're my little dorito
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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