No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
