like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
