You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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