fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
