woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
