so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When are your genitals available?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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