at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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