At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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