I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My cat gives me a boner
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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