my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
and she was petting her beer can
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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