since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
