why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
