Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
only if we run a train.
done.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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