dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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