It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
