covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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