so explain again why im purple
no
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
