It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize