This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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