Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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