An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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