if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
