I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
