Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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