He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
