its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
