I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
