So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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